On Picking Your Nose, Intestinal Worms, and Great Grandmothers
The first dog I raised did not have worms, but my sister’s dog did. They stuck to her fur when she used the bathroom, and dropped onto the living room carpet. She tried to escape them by running, and I thought about the dying worms and what they must feel being ejected from a chinese-crested dog’s ass. Banished from the warm intestinal hearth they inherited from their great grandmothers that grew in the intestines of the mother dog’s body. Great Grandmother worms that traveled through the bowels of many dogs crammed together in a breeding kennel, rode through feces and flesh to reach the new land unknown for their generations of offspring to thrive. We gave my sister’s dog a pill and a few weeks later there were no worm remains in the dog’s fecal tests.
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As a child in the south I was told not to run barefoot near the chickens or cows, between the stickers hidden in the grass and the threat of hookworms crawling through the soles of my feet. I do not remember having worms, but I also do not remember knowing how they came back out of the body.
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When my family road-tripped in Alaska with my extended family that lived there already, they took us fishing. I was vegan at the time, so instead of hooking a fish lip I laid on shoreside rocks, plotting to free any fish thrown into the white bucket under the dock. My mom must have known, because she sat with me until the bucket was full of fish bleeding from their mouths and self inflicted wounds from thrashing in that confined space. While the men were cooking, Uncle Andy told us that all fish in Alaska have worms and if the fire is hot enough they will die.
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In first grade I watched Animal Planet for hours after school. This is how I learned what reproduction is, and how the women of the 1900s swallowed tapeworms to lose weight. I considered this briefly during the deepest point in my eating disorder. Some animals, like praying mantises and large ants are taken over by worms that eat their food, then their flesh and brains, driving them to starvation and harmful acts in the name of passing on future generations of worms.
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On the last date with my recent partner we explored new types of sushi and sashimi that neither of us had before, to treat ourselves when we were crumbling. I chose two types of fish, he chose three. After dinner he told me that both of my choices were the most common fish to have worms. He did not tell me, so I could enjoy it. I do not know how accurate his claims are, I have not allowed myself to check.
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I pick my nose, eat boogers, masturbate, eat sushi, drink water from the Catawba River, run barefoot in the yard, eat undercooked pork, eat wild onions from the swampy park my ex frequented, animal feces, swimming in Lake Erie, bot flies, or chew my nails and I will get worms and they will not be able to leave me.
